I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
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