check it out our google latitudes are spooning
I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
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