I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
Randomize