It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Randomize