evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
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