my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
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