I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
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I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
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Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
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