So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
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I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
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It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
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