Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
just found out that she named her cat after me.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
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