It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
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