My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
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