Will you blow on my dice?
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
Randomize