You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
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