whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
Randomize