I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
Randomize