All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
Randomize