i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Randomize