She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Randomize