Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
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