He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
Randomize