I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
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