Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
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