when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
Randomize