Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
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