If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
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