He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
Randomize