The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
Randomize