thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Randomize