If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
Randomize