You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
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The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
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