I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
Randomize