i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
Randomize