We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
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