It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
Randomize