haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
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