How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
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The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
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WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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