I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
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He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
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I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
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