Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
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