if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
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