Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
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