We're like a lot better than the average bears
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
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The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
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