watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
Of course I have a pirate flag
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
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