I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
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