before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
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Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
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i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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