I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
Randomize