Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
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