Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
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I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
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Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
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