i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
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Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
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At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
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