....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
I fill condoms, not promises.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
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