This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
everyone is single if you try hard enough
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
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